how not to start a phone conversation, mom edition

mom: Regan…[sobbing]…it’s…[sobbing]…I can’t get the words out…it’s about your father…[15 seconds of sobbing and silence]…
me: WHAT IS GOING ON??? WHAT IS IT??? WHAT IS HAPPENING??? I’M PUTTING ON MY SHOES NOW!!!!
mom: no, no, no…he’s alright. Let me back up.

Well, he does have the flu from hell and he hasn’t kept down ice chips or 2oz of gatorade in the past 48 and he’ll most likely be admitted to some hospital in the morning to rehydrate, so he’s not alright…but christ, woman. I suppose this is some sort of exposure therapy for my great fear of my father passing early, but I don’t think I like it.