December 2010
49 posts
2010 out with a BANG!
So, after working two terribly long, tiring, stressful days, I wasn’t clicking my heels with glee about working a busy day before prepping my house for my party tonight. But then a miracle, a tragic sort of miracle, happened.
TORNADO!
Right down the street from my restaurant. All of the power lines were snapped on the main road and everyone in the restaurant (with food) got to eat for...
Can I just say...
that the idea of flavored, edible personal lubricant is disgusting? (I saw it on a commercial, I am not making commentary on my sex life.) I mean, sex is supposed to taste like sweat and sex and not like sweat mixed with sugared-strawberry flavoring. I don’t see how covering a neck or chest or thigh in edible lube would make me more likely to try to eat it. I just like trying to eat...
waitressing survival tips
1) Drink water. At least a giant glass each hour.
2) Don’t sit down. If you’ve been on your feet lugging giant trays for hours, when you sit down, you won’t be able to stand up.
3) Keep busy. It helps time fly.
4) Immediately after your shift, take your shoes off and stand on something cold. At the wine bar I wear flats and usually just stand on the cold concrete outside...
early bird
I’ve been waking up earlier than usual lately. Instead of the thirty minutes I absolutely need to get ready for work, I’ve been bending to an hour and am less of a grump about rolling out of bed. Hmmmm.
a girl's point of view...
on sex.
So, at 7PM when we’re about to go out, girls have to decide if we want to shave our legs and things or not. And when we decide to fully primp, we have already made the decision about if we are willing to put out that night or not. So when 11PM rolls around and we get a “oh, shit. Not tonight, but soon. Not blowing you off, just tonight isn’t good,” it makes...
on bartering
This spring, I am exchanging tutoring/editing for hair coloring/trimming. I think it’s a pretty rad deal.
on retaining a child's sense of wonder
So, I am having a very, very restless night. I am in Central Arkansas in the hometown of Kris Allen (yes, I went there). I am snuggled up on a daybed in the sunroom of my middle brother’s mother’s in law house. And I can’t stay asleep. I think my brain is too excited for Christmas, even though we passed up gift giving this year.
I get to meet my baby nephew tomorrow. ...
Call me Nancy Drew...
because I just solved the case of the new crush. Yowza! Strolling into your house at 6:30AM = a job well done.
Regan's Tips for Driving Home Sober from a...
1) Get to the bar and talk to people at least fifteen minutes.
2) Order a beer* and a water.
3) Set your phone alarm to go off in an hour
4) If you run out of beer before your alarm goes off, get more water.
5) Repeat steps 2-4.
Sigh. It’s nights like tonight that I really miss public transportation, affordable taxi services, and friends who volunteer to be DD.
*Short beers with...
in my mother's defense
Well…it’s more complicated than I previously let on. Sometimes it takes too much energy to preserve yourself and you don’t have any left for your children. Or perhaps she had too much to do with my brothers since my father took care of so much of my stuff. Regardless, I love my mother very very very very much and wish I could make things easier for her and erase the past 15+...
on parenting
As I was falling asleep last night, I had two distinct memories pop up of both my mother and my father. They both correctly encompass my mother issues and daddy’s girl shit.
Mother:
In 6th grade there was a medieval Christmas pageant of sorts that we rehearsed for day after day in music class. I told my mother that we had a performance on a school night and that I needed a costume and...
Perspective
So one of the reasons why I fell so hard for my former super crush is that he seemed to have a great way of reading me and dealing with me appropriately. We worked in a kitchen together (re: a high stress environment). I was new and seeing as the restaurant was so poorly run by owners, there were growing pains on my end. (OK, well you get ten tables in forty-five minutes with a five minute...
The Riddle of Amelia Earhart, Solved →
weeeeeee!
Spending my morning at the DMV. Exciting stuff.
Christmas List
Juicer!
I spend about $10 a week on superfood. I don’t think that a juicer would really cut down on cost, but it would help me get creative!
Curtains!
I am going to get these curtains for my living room and dining room. Four panels total. I could buy one a month for four months, or I could just hope for Santa.
Essential Oils!
With a new defuser. I dig my oils and want some more.
...
angels
Sometimes I tell people that I don’t believe in God, but apparently that’s incorrect. Like tonight, I dreamt (nap!) of a giant angel and the first thing I said was “ah shit, God’s real” and the angel giggled because he thought it was funny to cuss in the presence of glory or whatever. I have a lot of rapture dreams, too, even though I wasn’t really from one of...
to my friends in Colombia
please don’t get yourself shot.
to my friends at Columbia →
heh
Hmm...
Do you think it’s easier to explain the Santa Physics to children if you leave in the detail that only Christian/Western children get visited on ChristmasEve? Do the children feel sad for the other children? Do they feel more special and entitled? Does this lead to the proliferation of Western hegemony? Is it obvious that I just wanted to smush all of my high school debate words in one...
Fast Food! →
I found my new favorite no-tip restaurant, Crazy Bowls and Wraps. For $7 I can grab a bowl of awesome that lasts for 2.5 meals. This afternoon I purchased a bowl with quinoa with stir fried cabbage, carrots, edamame, tofu, and a light garlic ginger sauce. They also have “power bowls” full of tofu or fish or meat and a shit ton of steamed veggies, although their fish is sub-par.
...
Guilty pleasure
oliviaisferosch:
I cannot stop reading Dear Prudence!
me. too. Prudie love!
Dear Mariel,
I had to go to my parents’ house to pick-up my car, and I picked-up my calendar, too. In honor of you and your generous gift, I put your birthday on it first. Then I noticed all of the days already marked on there. THEN I was full of giddy and delight when I realized that I’ll never miss a Family Home Evening, a World-Wide Conference of Mormons on TV, a Tabernacle...
sometimes
you fuck-up an easy dinner with fresh groceries and after thirty minutes of work and no dinner to show for it, you feel like a failure of an adult as you curl up on your couch with some cookies and a giant glass of water. Blah.
upon seeking a state of equilibrium
favorite stranger of the day:
The lovely middle aged woman examining winter greens as I was selecting broccoli crowns. As we both reached for our veggies, we brushed arms and the sprinklers went off on us and we giggled and swapped pleasantries.
least favorite stranger of the day:
The dopey guy at Party City. He kept sneaking up behind me and asking if I was doing OK, if I was finding...
to-do list
1) mail stuff
2) deposit waitressing cash
3) laundry
4) clean
5) go to home depot and buy the plastic sheets that fit over windows
6) dance?
p.s. I should probably replace step 1) with “remove sleeping eye mask that I’ve been wearing as a headband for the past six hours.”
on growing-up
I spent the day at a Christmas Cookie Exchange. I planned to spend two hours there, but I got a call from a manager telling me to stay home for the day on account of the snow. Eee!. So, cookies! One of my bffs here invites ALLLL of her girlfriends over to make their favorite cookie and then we all go home with a tin of cookies. Because I don’t bake, I didn’t offer any cookie...
There are two types of women* in this world — those who carry tampons and those who are routinely asking other women for tampons.
*excluding women with keepers, pregnant women, post menopausal women, women with hysterectomies, and other women I’m forgetting.
things I wanted to post mid-crash
- Undercover Boss wouldn’t be as easy to laugh at if they forced the poorly educated laborers to do the day job of an executive officer. “Silly John, he thought securities markets were where cops hangout after hours.” It’s much easier to laugh at a suit failing to clean a toilet.
- I went to a very crowded movie where two teenagers were making out nonstop before the...
on law school
I was sure I wanted to go to law school starting around 9th grade, an idea that stuck with me up until 2007 when I began to select the schools that I wanted to send applications while I traced and doodled my LSAT score. Twice a year, most of my facebook updates and now a few tumblr feeds deal with the stress of LS finals and it’s in these times more than ever that I sit back, smile, and...
schooled
Currently life is handing me a lesson in procrastination, courtesy of car insurance fun. No illegal fun, just phone calls and blah blah blah.
update
My poor sister-in-law has been in labor for twenty three hours now. Dear baby - head south!
spoiler alert
The Masonic Mailbag is mostly filled with invitations to boring sounding dinners and pictures of really old dudes and slightly younger women in fancy dresses from Dillard’s.
Secret Spy Stuff
My grandfather still gets a shit ton of mail, a lot of it is from the Masonic Lodge in St. Louis. As most post-Industrial Midwestern Cities, St. Louis has a big Masonic presence. So yeah, I open up and read all of his top secret boy stuff.
Perhaps I can use it all in my future Masters of Symbology dissertation.
nerves
I am a Nervous Nelly when it comes to talking to people on the phone. The only people I talk with comfortably and often are Batman and my parents. So, when I had to call my step-aunt*, I put it off and put it off and put it off. She simply wanted to discuss when she could pick-up the mail and a wheelchair from my grandfather’s house. Finally tonight I set a deadline to call her by 6PM...
baby fever
My nephew is due today! Sadly, he is taking his sweet, sweet time. I’ve never been an aunt before, but I’m excited!
I kept telling myself “wow, the first baby of the next generation!” Then I remembered that my cousin had a baby like, eighteen years ago. Then that baby had a baby like two years ago, so…we have lots of catching up to do, it seems. Granted,...
the tale of the shroom
Awhile back I noticed a tasty looking recipe on one of my bloggy guilty pleasures for some scrumptious sounding burgundy mushrooms. The only catch? Those suckers take NINE HOURS to cook. So, after weeks of staring down this recipe, I finally decided to try it out. On Sunday after work I went to the store and spent a little too much money on the damn ingredients, planning to spend my Monday off...