Ask me anything

the world may indeed be my oyster, but must I shoot it raw?

dinner with the 1%

is…uh, something. Did you know you can buy two servings of scotch and a cigar for $550. I mean…I’m sure you did, but did you know that that’s ALL you get at some places?!?!?!?

3 days ago
0 notes
I can’t release that information, but you black monkeys need to stop calling. You people have been blowing up our line all night.
Ferguson Police Department Operator, immediately prior to hanging up on a citizen inquiring about the release of St. Louis Alderman Antonio French. (via coketalk)
2 months ago
1,676 notes

blame-eve:

Chimamamda Ngozi Adiche, We Should All Be Feminists

(Source: cyberteeth, via therecipe)

5 months ago
814,987 notes

ummm….

If Taylor Swift did not slip Prince William a dirty note in that event where they were both singing, then our generation has lost. At life. I know I sound 13 and southern and straight and gross, but COME ON!

You’ve been dirty enough to date John Mayer, yer dirty enough to throw yourself at goddamn Prince William.

That is all.

10 months ago
0 notes

a few notes

1) Sure, the BoSox won the WS. Weirdo series. Still wasn’t as awesome as our win in 2011. =) Good job, though, kids.

2) I got into graduate school. So in exactly two years and a few months I’ll be a shrink. And my dream of being on a softball team called the Shrinky Dinks will finally be possible.

3) Back to Austin in a few days. Should be super awesome!

4) yay life!

11 months ago
0 notes

sometimes

You watch a gorgeous travel show on PBS about Peru while emailing a cowboy banker who’s working in Peru…probably raping the earth and cutting down everything beautiful to make the world’s richest people a little bit richer. Ugh. I need to bone a hippie to make-up for this, in a cosmic way.

1 year ago
0 notes
Today I looked into the face of God and smiled, looked down, then nervously continued to polish wine glasses. Then the following conversation took place -

Me: Pssst. HEY…there’s a super hero sitting in the bar.
Co-Worker: Um…you’ll have to be more specific.
Me: The Wiz.
CW: Like Michael Jackson?
Me: No, stupid. THE Wiz.
CW: Huh?
Me: Ozzie Smith!
CW: Huh?
Me: OZZIE SMITH! THE WIZARD!
CW: HUH?
Me: The best short stop in the history of the world!
CW: Oh…um, like…that guy who beat out Sami Sosa for the homerun thing?
Me: YOU GREW UP IN ST. LOUIS! WHY ARE YOU THIS STUPID?!?

Today I looked into the face of God and smiled, looked down, then nervously continued to polish wine glasses. Then the following conversation took place -

Me: Pssst. HEY…there’s a super hero sitting in the bar.
Co-Worker: Um…you’ll have to be more specific.
Me: The Wiz.
CW: Like Michael Jackson?
Me: No, stupid. THE Wiz.
CW: Huh?
Me: Ozzie Smith!
CW: Huh?
Me: OZZIE SMITH! THE WIZARD!
CW: HUH?
Me: The best short stop in the history of the world!
CW: Oh…um, like…that guy who beat out Sami Sosa for the homerun thing?
Me: YOU GREW UP IN ST. LOUIS! WHY ARE YOU THIS STUPID?!?

1 year ago
1 note
At 19, I read a sentence that re-terraformed my head: “The level of matter in the universe has been constant since the Big Bang.”
In all the aeons we have lost nothing, we have gained nothing - not a speck, not a grain, not a breath. The universe is simply a sealed, twisting kaleidoscope that has reordered itself a trillion trillion trillion times over.
Each baby, then, is a unique collision - a cocktail, a remix - of all that has come before: made from molecules of Napoleon and stardust and comets and whale tooth; colloidal mercury and Cleopatra’s breath: and with the same darkness that is between the stars between, and inside, our own atoms.
When you know this, you suddenly see the crowded top deck of the bus, in the rain, as a miracle: this collection of people is by way of a starburst constellation. Families are bright, irregular-shaped nebulae. Finding a person you love is like galaxies colliding. We are all peculiar, unrepeatable, perambulating micro-universes - we have never been before and we will never be again. Oh God, the sheer exuberant, unlikely fact of our existences. The honour of being alive. They will never be able to make you again. Don’t you dare waste a second of it thinking something better will happen when it ends. Don’t you dare.

Caitlin Moran  (via harukimuracallme)

breathless by the end.

(via flamelikeme)

(Source: lustsandluxuries, via flamelikeme)

5 months ago
84,080 notes

UPDATES!

I’ve hidden from the tumblr-sphere too much. Which is a shame, because it’s a nice way of keeping up with everyone and I can cuss more here than on facebook. Let’s see.

It’s finals week! The second since January. My school has 9 week terms, which is rough, but I think I’m leaning on the pros because if I were still in one of my classes from the first term, I’d hate life a little too much. Grad school Regan does all of her reading and talks a lot in class, but she still groans when 1/3rd of her classmates speak-up. She still procrastinates on her papers, but less so. (Turns out, when you do all of your homework, it’s easier to get As.)

Oh! And I’m moving back to Texas. This summer. In two months. The decision came down to “leave Missouri now” or “leave Missouri in 3-4+ years with additional costs and paperwork.” I’ve been itching to leave for awhile…so moving it is. Texas is equidistant to family, a better state to practice in, full of cities, and full of boys in cowboy boots and tequila.

I’ve learned that I have a do a SHIT TON of work and a have a great deal of patience before I will ever become a decent therapist, but the people in charge tell me I’m on a great path, so I’m trusting in that. Also, it turns out that therapists turned professors make for a special breed of professors. One in particular can pull an entire room to the brink of sobbing in all of three sentences in the middle of a discussion about the most mundane of topics. She shows up in my dreams to tell everyone else to stop fucking with me. It’s exciting and empowering to know that with enough time and experience that I can get similar super-powers.

5 months ago
1 note

uh oh

I’m going to have to take a science class. I haven’t had one of those in many, many years.

10 months ago
0 notes
No one tell 1989 Regan that 2013 Regan is no where near a real wedding dress. You can let her know that her bedroom is still pink, though.

No one tell 1989 Regan that 2013 Regan is no where near a real wedding dress. You can let her know that her bedroom is still pink, though.

11 months ago
0 notes

Ummmph

This week marks the seven year anniversary of meeting my super, duper, far too handsome and charming for my own good crush. Also, the beginning of the longest “relationship” that I’ve ever had with a man. He writes the most delicious love letters and smiles at me in a very dangerous way. Nineteen more days until we meet again. Sigh. But really, those boots! That smile! Those hands! The mindless chatter about emerging markets! And baseball! And great cocktails! And the hand holding and the really, really dirty bits that I’m leaving out.

Sure, lots of it may simply be make-believe, but so far, having a fairy tale day or two every few months is far more exciting than any other option.

Did I mention his hands? And his boots? And the way that he holds my face as he kisses my forehead then the tip of my nose?

Danger, danger.

1 year ago
0 notes

imageoscillite:

Kumar Pallana, famed for his roles in nearly all Wes Anderson films, passed away. He was 94. 

This was the second highlight of my day. The first being the Cards beating the Dodgers in the first game of the NLCS.

(via kateoplis)

1 year ago
248 notes